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I should have come with a manual. I confuse myself.
Music, internet, food and sleep are important parts of my life.
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once!
Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Even the mightiest oak tree was once a nut like you.
A wife stands nude in front of her husband & says ‘I look horrible,I’m fat & ugly pay me a compliment.
He replies ‘Your eyesight is perfect.
I wanna hug you and feel everything.
Anybody can make a mistake. It takes real dedication to make all of them.
Why God, why? Why beautiful girls don’t have brains!
His I.Q. is so low you can’t test it. You have to dig for it.
He saw me without problems,He created YOU.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Can I take your picture??
I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones.